yes im messy

messy is out of control, maybe that’s it.

dis is a trauma after math thing:

learning to be ok with being out of control, n with what new growth can emerge from that release.

yesterday, I felt no control over those tears, they came up fast and immediate and were suddenly there —

this is ongoing learning,

how I let myself just be in all those different places, feel exactly what im feeling, remind myself, my inside selves, n even the people around

me (should they wonder or worry):

it’s ok, im ok, even when i look not ok.

even when im messy.